If you are here browsing for the answer to this heavy question, it’s probably because you can’t find peace in your heart.
I get it, sleepless nights, tears coming down… The pain in your chest that doesn’t allow you to even enjoy your meals… Sadness that consumes your day. You are at your school, work or perhaps at your home, trying to get your tasks done; but your mind seems to be frozen.You have cried countless times, so many that you are just feeling numb.
The reason cause of these behaviors is that you are still trying to understand what just happened. Still in shock, you are trying to find an answer that softens your heart, so that everything would make sense.You replay over and over the scenes of your life searching for the exact moment where you did something wrong and what could be the consequence of your actions.
You just can’t believe this person that you trusted, failed you.
When it comes to forgiving a betrayal there are so many cards at play on the table. Whether this was your best friend, coworker, a family member or a romantic partner. Trying to figure it out why they did it, will only hurt you more. They betrayed you because they wanted to betray. But I get it, when someone hurt us and has betrayed our trust, the world seems to be too scary.
This is your new reality. You have two options in your hands: live with anger and bitterness, or forgive, let it go and move on.
I know, You wish someone could pay for this pain so you can release the feeling of unfairness inside of you. Sadly, this is out of your hands.
You can’t control someone’s else behavior or feelings.
Your feelings, emotions and pain are valid. You are allowed to feel all that you are feeling and no one should minimize this. Once you have cried, felt angry, and experienced enough disappoint – It’s time to forgive.
If the person who betrayed your trust, did it only this time, do not beat him/her up or yourself about it. We all have the right to make mistakes, and it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes this could make us a better person. You can’t bury them for the only thing they did wrong. Choose to forgive and keep loving this person for all the right things he/she did (I am talking about healthy relationships not TOXIC ones).
On the other hand, if it’s the same mistake over and over again, this is not a mistake anymore: it’s a pattern. It’s time to walk away from this place.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you approve of this behavior. It means that you are not allowing this person to steal the happiness and peace that you deserve every day.
You are a treasure, you are worthy. Do not allow someone’s else acts to sabotage your own life. Someone said that Hurt people hurt others, and also, sometimes people hurt without meaning it. Be kind to yourself.
Either way, the other’s behaviors towards you, speaks about themselves, NOT about you.
If someone decides to treat you poorly, it’s no related to you. It’s just that they don’t know any better. It’s not your fault that other people lack integrity.
Forgiveness will bring peace and calm to your heart. Its like liberating your body from a chain that was holding you tight to the offender and to the offense. Slowly, but in a healthy way, you will start to smile again and you will find many people that are willing to give you their best.
Only for you: Forgive, let it go and move on…
You might want to check this post: https://jenniveth.wordpress.com/2020/10/19/how-to-forgive-a-betrayal/