What is real love

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Love, a word that everyone repeats and seeks. What comes to your mind when you think about love? Although, love can be expressed in different ways, the goal is the same.

Note: This post is about healthy relationships between individuals. If you are in a toxic relationship where you find yourself suffering, receiving psychological, or physical abuse, please seek for professional help (https://www.thehotline.org/).

hands heart love
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People say that there are different kinds of love; however, real love is represented by identical behavior, it’s expressed in the same way, regardless of the type of relationship.

Now, about these famous phrases: ” love hurts” and “love is blind”. In my opinion, this is totally wrong. Please allow me to explain myself

broken heart love sad
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It is said that love is blind. I completely disagree with this. Real love is not blind at all, on the contrary, you perfectly see the imperfections, the things you want the other person to improve in order for both of you to feel better.

You know there are a few things you want to “fix”. It’s not that you are in negation of what you are seeing or that you are lying to yourself; it is just that LOVE is stronger than all the things you wish that special person could change.

Real Love always sees beauty, where others only see ashes. This is because deep inside, you know life is made of steps, we are constantly changing and this is why you focus on the potential and future of your loved one rather than their present. You increase your faith, hoping that eventually he/she/them will grow and become better.

It always believes in the good, in all those positive things that the person you love has, instead of focusing on their faults. Love sees the mistakes as opportunities for growth and it hopes for the best; that even the bad moments can be turned into a positive challenge – to become a wiser and better person.

Real love is patience, specially for the growth. Every person matures at different times and in different ways. You have understood that you need to respect the other’s time. It doesn’t mean that you won’t feel disappointment – I mean, you are still human, you will feel discouraged and impatient at times, but real love always wins.

Real love knows how to wait. It’s just like when you are waiting for the right time to harvest your lovely veggies, that you have been patiently growing and watering for some time; you learn to wait since every vegetable will have a perfect time to be picked.

mother with son walking in park
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Real love doesn’t expect perfection, because love will always cover a multitude of wrongdoings. Where there is love, there is restoration and healing. It is just like this, it doesn’t keep record of every error. Real love knows how to forgive, let go and move on from any situation. As long as there is love, it won’t easily vanish because love is compassion.

Real love always seeks the good for others. It doesn’t dishonor the ones you love but rejoices in happiness for each other. There will be moments when you will disagree with the decisions that your loved one is making, you will wish things are different but in the end, you will always let them follow their heart and pray for the best.

Sometimes, with love, you will have to say goodbye to your expectations of them, although your heart is being shocked. Because love is always kind. You can’t wish bad things for someone you love.

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People say love hurts, as if you have to cry terribly when you are in love. This is wrong – it’s not the same “suffering for love” than “because of” love. There is a difference between tears of bitterness and tears of love. It’s inevitable to cry when you truly love, it’s not a “price” to pay but rather the reward. Real love adds no sorrow. You might cry because life gets in the way, but this is different to feeling betrayed or intentionally hurting the one you love.

Real love never fails. We all fail one way or other, but what this really means is that when you love, you are someone that can be relied on, you are there standing next to them – always loyal. Where there is love, there is no selfishness, you set aside any other situation or feeling in order to extend your supporting hand.

Real love is not about getting what you want when you want it. It’s thinking about the best and what brings happiness each other, taking control over your emotions and doing your best to place yourself in the other’s shoes. Love is understanding and supportive.

Love is a blessing. It helps you to become a better version of yourself. It brings light and truth, it leads you to a better place. You are determined to forge a better person with care and wise direction. Love always protects, all you want for your loved one is happiness. You teach with example, not with rudeness.

family gathering for a group hug
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Real love guides you to the light during dark moments.

Love gives without expecting anything back. Of course everyone expects something back, however, in love, you understand that there is no obligation. People have different languages of love; the way we demonstrate and receive love tend to be different depending on many factors such your past, upbringing, culture, etc. You learn how to be ok with what the other can give. Certainly, love doesn’t seek personal gain, it doesn’t take advantage of others.

man in monk dress between group of children
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Love fills you with freedom. It gives you the opportunity to live freely, to be who you are, to follow your dreams and wishes. You feel at peace, being able to express what’s inside without the fear of rejection. Love doesn’t lie in order to be “nice”, but speaks with honesty.

Real love doesn’t take things for granted. It’s loving as if you would not have them tomorrow. It always gives the best, make efforts for the good of everyone. It doesn’t come to be served, but to serve. Love takes responsibility and doesn’t blame others, or uses the situations as excuses for not doing better.

a happy family sitting beside a christmas tree
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Real love is within you. If all I said above is the way you are living for yourself, then you have found what love is and now you can offer it to others. Loving yourself first and knowing your worth will take you to the right place and to the right people. We can’t give what we don’t have; if you are not happy with yourself, you won’t make others happy.

If you have found real love in someone else, if you are surrounded by people that really love you; take care of them, don’t take them for granted and be grateful for real love everyday.

You can have “everything” in life; but if you haven’t found real love, you will always be going in circles trying to fill the emptiness inside of you. Seeking over and over, to find a purpose in life. Loving selflessly, with honesty and gratitude will fill your life.

Love is always the answer, we were created to love and to be loved.

affection art backlit couple
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Remember, love always finds its way back home. What you give is what you receive, and we all end up with the love we think we deserve.

You probably want to check this post: https://jenniveth.wordpress.com/2020/12/04/how-do-you-decide-to-marry-someone/

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