Some decisions are awkward and even unpleasant to make. You wish you had enough wisdom to be sure that you are on the right path. You look at the sky as if trying to find a sign from a higher power (call it the universe, destiny, or whatever your beliefs are, in my case God), that helps you find the courage to just make it without being scared of bad consequences.
The truth is that “signs” are not always right. The reality is that some people will give you advice based on their own interests, or worse from their point of view. Making a decision is more than listening to what others have to say about the step you wish to make. This is your life, and you will be the one facing the consequences. That is why it is so important to know how to make right decisions.
With humbleness, let me share with you 7 steps that can help you make right decisions, with the certainty that you are ready for these.
- DO NOT TRUST YOUR EMOTIONS. Even tho allowing yourself to feel emotions is a healthy way to live, this is wrong when it comes to making decisions. We love to follow our gut based on how we are feeling. The problem with this is that our feelings are temporary; they are volatile, what you want today is not what you want tomorrow. When making important decisions you gotta put your heart and emotions to rest and only use your brain.
- SEE THE FUTURE, HOW WILL THIS DECISION AFFECT YOU IN THE COMING YEARS? They say the “present is all we have”, and oh, yes they are right. But NOT when you are making a big decision. We can’t predict the future, but we must know where we want to be 10 years from now and whom are the people you want to keep in your life. Be aware that your decisions can hurt others and they are in no obligation to accept these and remain as if nothing happened.
3. DO NOT MAKE A DECISION TO PLEASE OTHERS. Family and friends are not always right, they could be trying to get in your mind based on their own beliefs, feelings, or fears. You have to listen to the people you love, specially your parents. But you have to ask yourself: are they being objective with their advice? Are they considering how you feel or how important it is for you? What you want is something that matters to them? You can trust me on this, who loves you will always want the best for you and for your happiness. Even if their hearts experience sadness, they want you to live fully, as long as your decisions won’t hurt you. People who care for you, will respect your decisions.
4.DO NOT LIE TO YOURSELF OR SUGARCOAT YOUR DECISIONS. We all have the tendency to try to fool ourselves to make us believe “it doesn’t hurt if I try”. Yes that’s an optimistic way of seeing things, but the reality is different. You will face the consequences of any decision you make, if these are good – good consequences, and if these are bad – bad consequences. More importantly, your decisions will cause collateral damage and some damage will be irrevocable.
5. RUSHING IS NOT PART OF THE PLAN. Do not make decisions in a rush. Rushing will cause you stress, loss of concentration, and you will end up taking the first option and first advice. Life is full of moments when we gotta make fast decisions, these moments are like playing the lottery, you just gotta try. When the scenario for making a decision is an emergency, winning or losing are inevitable options, but you will be responsible for either result. You have make up your mind and accept whatever that happens.
6. DO NOT RUN AWAY FROM SOMETHING WHEN MAKING A DECISION. “Easy way outs” are always tempting. Life is already hard enough, and sometimes what you want is no more complications. Who doesn’t understand this, is not human – I understand you. Sadly, life doesn’t work like this. Running away from something will bring a brief moment of peace, but after a some time, the unfinished business will come after you. Life has a way to send the paycheck, precisely when you sense you have finally escaped from what was haunting you. When making a decision, you gotta be sure that everything inside you is clean, that you have no unfinished business, and that you are not trying to run away from a situation instead of facing it.
7. PEACE AND HAPPINESS WILL OVERJOY YOUR HEART. When making big decisions it is normal to feel a bit scared of giving up your comfort zone. Also, it is very normal to feel nostalgic. However, nostalgia is not same as guilt. If you are experiencing guilt with the decision you are making, chances are, you are making the wrong decision. Peace governs your heart when you are making a good decision. You feel calmness, knowing that this is the best for you and for everyone around you. Happiness and excitement at night will bring peace to your heart and mind, and clear your brain to make the final decision.
Only time will show you if you are right or wrong when you make an important decision. If you are seeing the big picture, if you have taken the steps I mentioned above, you can trust me that you are being responsible, and you are doing the best you can to make it right. So, you can have peace that if it doesn’t work, it is because it was not meant for you. But there was a life lesson to learn from all of it, and that it is not your fault if it wasn’t what you expected. We are here living for first time, and it is ok to make some mistakes.