7 steps to find peace.

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If you are here, it’s because you have reached that point where you feel that you are done with living a life in noise and pain. You are seeking peace with yourself and the rest of the world.

What exactly happened to you, that has made you live with a war inside yourself? If you have no clue, it’s probably because something happened to you when you were a kid, and your subconscious hides it to protect you. But your heart stills remember the pain and the hurt. Whatever the reason, it’s not important anymore. What does matter, is the way to heal inside, to find peace, and go on.

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When you are not at peace, you have no insight. When you allow yourself to feel the rage and the hatred within you, you also take it out on others. Sometimes we don’t feel at peace because that which happened to you, took you for surprise. You didn’t see it coming, you were not prepared for it, you were careless. Simply, you feel it’s unfair, having to deal with what you have to.

I don’t know what took your peace away, but now you are living at war with yourself, with your feelings and thoughts. You are carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders. However, in reality, no war has ever been won, the war in the streets, between countries, or worse the conflict inside you – war has no winners. When you hurt others, you also hurt yourself. War takes a toll on both sides.

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You might think that hurting others will end your suffering, or that self-destructive activities will help you find peace. That is not how healing works. Drugs, alcohol, self-damage have never healed a wound, and never will. In order to find peace you need to stop hurting others and hurting yourself. To end that war in your heart, you will need to first stop it in your mind. Do not plan revenge, do not recapitulate those moments when you got hurt, do not grow your resentment. When you resent someone and you try to make them pay for the pain they caused, remember, that for each 5 pounds of anger you release on them, you are bringing 50 pounds back home with you. Negative feelings are a never-ending cycle that will steal your peace for the rest of your life.

Bad actions will always come after you, taking away the joy from you. Now that you understand why finding peace is a must to live happily, let me guide you with some steps to find peace:

  1. BE AWARE THAT TIME IS ALWAYS MOVING AND YOU ARE STUCK. YOU HAVE TO WISH FOR PEACE FROM THE BOTTOM OF YOUR HEART. Some people get stuck because they don’t really want to “moving forward”. They lie to themselves, but they actually “like” playing the role of victim. Leave the victim part in the past, let’s live in the present.

2. FIND NEW PATHS IN LIFE. Meet new people, get a new hobby, move out of your comfort zone and the same routines. Get rid of the bad habit of keeping memories alive, if it didn’t work out, it didn’t. If it didn’t happen as you wanted, let it go. There is a whole new world waiting for you to live. It is not easy, but you have to give yourself the chance.

3.Walk away from people or circumstances that re-open the past wounds, until you are completely healed. Some people or places are triggers that take you back to the dark moments where you couldn’t be the best version of yourself. Avoid these as much as possible.

4. ANALYZE THE SITUATION: WHAT IS STEALING YOUR PEACE? Is it worthwhile? Can this situation be solved? What decisions brought you here? Can it be easily fixed? Why are you holding on to it? Learn how to confront yourself and how to let go.

5. Hang out with happy, positive, and peaceful people. Peace is a positive energy that can be recharged. The more you surround yourself with people of peace, the more your peace will get recharged. Run away from people that are always complaining or are always moody, because their negative emotions are rechargeable too.

6. Read more, ENJOY nature, work out, and avoid social media. When you are trying to find peace, it is important to be in an environment that brings light to your heart, instead of FOMO or vanity. People who find “peace” by spending thousands upon thousands on material things won’t bring brilliance to your life. Focus your energy on finer, simple things.

7. IF THE SITUATION DOESN’T ALLOW YOU TO FIND PEACE, AND IS OUT OF YOUR CONTROL: PRAY. Rely on someone that is powerful and bigger than you are. For many years (in my case), I was angry with God. I wasted so many years being upset because I felt that my reality was so unfair. I thought that if there was “really” a God, then He was a bad or mean God. I put all the blame on Him, because someone had to be responsible for my pain. Once I realized that I couldn’t handle it anymore, I understood that actually believing in Him and His power, would make every prayer a sweet moment, that along with tears, would soothe my pain – until one day all will be gone, and therefore, I will be in peace.

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If you want to hurt someone, please STOP. If you want to hurt yourself, STOP. Peace is possible, and it’s for you too. No matter how painful life seems right now, it is worthwhile to live it peacefully. Living can be very beautiful, starting the moment you stop the war inside of you. Do not waste your last years, months, days or minutes in pain. Forgive, do not remember the past with pain, rejoice in the present and find peace. The best is yet to come.

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