Is the root of resentment stealing your peace? Do you feel like you can’t move on from the hurt? Are the sleepless nights affecting your day? Then, bitterness has knocked into your life and it wants to stay. Do you feel your heart is being consumed by the offense you received? You probably feel you have enough reasons to be mad, angry, and feel bitter towards the offenders. However, bitterness is not a desert that you get to share with someone else. It’s a really cold plate that is served only for you.
Chances are that right now you are thinking: “If you only knew what they did to me, how unfair and poorly I was treated. I didn’t deserve it”. Let me tell you, yes. You have all the right to feel angry, offended, resentful, and mad. People paid with bad the good you did, they did you wrong. I know you wish they could see and realize what they have done and apologize with a sincere heart. But no, that won’t happen.
An apology? It won’t happen because this is who they are. They give what’s in their hearts, they can’t offer what they have never received. Compassion will give you a sense of peace when you get to understand that this is the best they could do. It’s not that they didn’t know better, simply, they just didn’t want to do it. Unfairness feelings might take over your heart, leaving you with a lot of questions: why? how can someone be this heartless?
The answer is short: that’s all they know. See, you give a lot because there is a lot in you to offer. You give love, attention, and care because this is who YOU ARE. It’s not about if they deserved it or not. It’s just that this is the capacity for giving that you have. Why would you be mad at someone that short-paid what you gave? Why would you be bitter about the offense? This is not about you. This talks about who they are, not about your worth.
Just because someone decides to treat you poorly, this does not mean that you are less valuable. It’s on them, not on you. Why would you feel sad? Why would you hate?
Let me share with you my mind, how I overcome bitterness:
- The first thing you need to know is, when someone is broken, he/she breaks whatever they touch and it’s not your fault. When brokenness is all you know, broken endings is what you offer. Be a compassionate person.
- Don’t live your life bitter and resentful about something that happened to you, that you cannot do anything about it anymore. Emotions are dangerous, they can control your life. Choose positive feelings and a positive thinking to guide your life.
- Don’t run away from people who provoked the hurt. That wont get rid of the feelings, and you will carry that with you on your shoulders wherever you go. If you don’t stop it, it’s gonna spread and it will destroy your life. Bitter people do not have good relationships.
- Forgive quickly. I know, you are thinking how can you just let it go when that hurt you too deep. Trust me on this, Forgiving is a decision you make in your life, it will clean your heart, it will remove the weight from your shoulders, it will give you back the peace at night. Forgiving is a self-love act that you do for your sake, not for someone else. Do yourself a favor and forgive. Unforgiveness is a like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Let life take care of every single unfairness. Let it go, what’s in your future is much better than the past. Don’t waste more days of your life holding onto the grudge.
- Do not think how to pay them back or self-sabotage your life by doing things that you will regret later on. Emotions always seek for a way out, your mind will find ways to get away from the emotional-stress you are experiencing. You might think that seeking revenge will release your pain, but that won’t happen. Why would you hurt your self for someone that didn’t care about you? Get rid of that self-pity mindset, don’t let what’s going on outside get inside of you. Keep your heart and body pure.
- Notice the good things surrounding you. If you re-focus your mind and life, you will find beauty from the ashes. Release the bitterness and choose to laugh again. Bitterness will keep you from smiling, and from feeling passion for life and joy. There are a lot of people who love you, who care for you. That person at work bringing you donuts because he/she noticed you were sad, those new friends you are making along the way, the new doors that are being opened for your career, a new opportunity to grow wiser.
- Bitter roots produce bitter fruits. Do you want the fruits of your life to be rooted? The disappointment is just a brief moment in your life. You can feel sad, it’s ok. But you don’t have to stay sad. Some days will be easier than others, but little by little you will get your joy back, you will laugh like you used to. They hurt you once, don’t let them hurt you over and over. The more you think and relive what’s in the past, the more you get stuck in the past. Leave the past, make the hurt a temporary thing. The party is still going on, why would you stay out of it? The party is also for you. Life is too short, you haven’t seen the best days yet.
I like to think that whenever I love and care for somebody, I surround that people with multiple heart-bubbles, that keep growing, and growing as God blows love and happiness through them; in every day I share with them. I give love without expecting a return because that’s who I am. Once my time is up and I am asked to leave, all these hearts are pinched and they become a huge seed that is planted in their hearts. The seed I leave in them will keep growing and as return they are able to offer to another person the love I once gave to them. I am like a sea breeze that lasts only second, but leaves a sense of peace. You are too, set yourself free of bitterness because you deserve to live a happy life.