It’s a new year, well-said, it’s a new start. Was last year hard on you? Do you feel like a rollercoaster of emotions trembled you? You are not alone. Seems like year after year, specially with the ongoing pandemic, everyone’s emotions are more vulnerable than ever. People are getting easily irritated, hurt, and vexed more than ever. You can see it on the tv or online; so if you feel like you’ve been “dramatic”, trust me, it’s not only you.
Speaking of the devil, aren’t emotions the first reason you self-sabotage? I believe it is. In my opinion, emotions are the first step to dropping off healthy reasoning – because these are so volatile that without thinking we get ourselves in a lot of “problems”. I know people with the ability to always follow in the righteous behavior, they have self-control of their decisions because they own their emotions. But I’ve also met untrustworthy people, who break their promises because they can’t commit to these, due their lack of self-control.
To be honest, we are not robots, you might have everything “under control”, and out of nowhere, emotions bigger than yourself race your mind at high speeds, making you feel like you just messed up everything you had planned. Let me tell you, this is just fine. You are human, you are allowed now and then to be vulnerable and to let your emotions guide your decisions. The good news is, that you can always re-start.
You have the willpower to start over again, do not give up. This is the beauty of being alive, that every morning you have the opportunity to re-create yourself. Don’t be afraid of experiencing some failures. I know, failures hurt and disappointment can stop us from trying again. We are scared of going through the same heartbreak, this is just a natural feeling. You can’t stop your life because of this, right? Let it go, and try again. The future is bright!
Our brain is hardwired to seek rewards. So when we fail, our brain is set on a fear response, which makes us freeze up. It’s the fear that convinces us that it’s better to back up, rather than go forward; and this is the moment that you start to self-sabotage your life.
I’ve met brilliant people that let their negative emotions take over so hard, that they avoid building-up a better life due to their negative thinking.
It doesn’t matter how smart they are, if they have a very low concept of themselves, they destroy what could have been a better future. Usually, this is due to their bad experiences, and these have marked their brain and heart; making them believe they are incapable of achieving anything without the help of someone else. When you are internally hurt, you are also mentally hurt.
A shaky self-esteem makes us insecure, and may even make us believe that we aren’t deserving of good things. You usually get frustrated because you know you can do better, but you are focused in all the things that could possibly go wrong, and then, you end up sabotaging the goals you had planned for yourself.
Negative beliefs that we have internalized cause us to avoid the things we want because we are 100% convinced that we are going to lose and get hurt .
How to avoid self-sabotage? This is easier said than done, but you will need to get rid of the self-pity mentality, the negative strongholds and wandering mindset. If you are someone that often doubts and disbelieves others, it’s very likely that you do exactly the same thing with yourself.
Living a life with doubts, disbeliefs and suspicions will steal all hope from your heart. Living without hope is like living with a dead heart, there is no way you can live a positive life in such a condition. If you don’t first heal your heart, you won’t heal your mind. It’s crucial to have a positive outlook to keep your goals moving. You won’t have a positive mind if you don’t have a happy life. You won’t have a happy life if you don’t have love and hope in your heart. Everything is connected.
How to stop self-sabotage? Heal your heart first.
“Above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”-Bible . I hope that after reading this post you came to realize that all this is possible for you if you believe. If you have faith in yourself; if you can trust yourself, sooner rather than later, you will beat up all those fears and conquer your goals. Do not settle, there is a lot waiting for you when you move out of your comfort zone. You own your mind, and your emotions. Do not give-up on yourself.